Acceptance is a requirement to function in society. Why then do so
many suffer from rejection? Is the need for acceptance healthy or disruptive in
nature?
Acceptance is a necessity from loved ones; it is healthy and extremely
damaging for those who do not receive it. Acceptance is necessary from
parents throughout childhood. A child who is not accepted grows up with
rejection. The absence of acceptance causes rejection. Let us examine the
behavior of a rejected individual. This individual is constantly seeking the
approval of others; all decisions made are dependent on the acceptance of those
around them. Rejection causes insecurity forcing the individual to constantly
seek approval from those around them such as a boss or a friend. These
personality types also find themselves in abusive relationships. After all no
one respects a needy person, they are seen as a person who can be manipulated
and used by controlling people. So you see one who is not accepted by their
loved ones is in a constant state of feeling rejected. In turn this causes much
pain and struggle through life. Although the need for acceptance can be
damaging, it is a requirement for survival. It is not the need for acceptance
however that is damaging; it is the lack of it, causing a void in ones soul
leaving nothing but want. In turn this causes the individual to only function
in a manner that suits others, leaving a feeling of non-existence. To
begin to overcome this problem one must develop at least one healthy
relationship in which there is unconditional love and acceptance. Once this is
in place one can begin to let go of the need for approval from others entirely.
The main thing to realize is that the needy behavior is causing the alienation
of those whom approval is required. Once the need is vanquished the acceptance
begins.
By
Mendy Tornek